


Blur of The Stars

by halfsweet



Series: Parallel AU [10]
Category: Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Insecurity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-11 04:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11706516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfsweet/pseuds/halfsweet
Summary: @PatrickStump i’m honestly so upset right now@PatrickStump this is why you need to finish your album BEFORE releasing singles@PatrickStump what a joke@PatrickStump im done goodbye





	Blur of The Stars

**Author's Note:**

> oops my hands slipped
> 
> (unedited bc it's like almost 3 am here)

_@PatrickStump i’m honestly so upset right now_

_@PatrickStump this is why you need to finish your album BEFORE releasing singles_

_@PatrickStump what a joke_

_@PatrickStump im done goodbye_

He throws his phone across the room with a yell and buries his head in his hands, falling to his knees as his fingers grip his hair, nails scratching the scalp. He needs to stop doing this again. The only reason he’s back on Twitter is to post the note, not to read people’s replies and comments about him. He’s supposed to go on Twitter, upload the note, and logout for possibly forever.

 _Not_ log in after the guys have left and go through all the comments while being alone in the dark bedroom.

_Is this a fucking joke? Bc it’s not funny_

_What is fall out boy doing?_

_I can’t believe they’re pulling this shit! We’ve already bought tickets!_

_But the album was going to be released on my birthday! This sucks. Thanks so much fob. Way to ruin my day_

This is wrong. They made a mistake. _He_ made a mistake. He was supposed to get the songs done on time. They’d already promised everyone that the record will come out next month, but instead _they’re pushing it back to next year._

_They’re so selfish_

“Shut up.” He clenches his jaw, eyes squeezing shut so hard tears are beginning to form in the corner of his eyes. “Shut up. _Shut up.”_

_pete’s just using patrick because he knows we won’t be too mad if patrick’s the one doing the announcement. fob is problematic_

_is patrick being a control freak again like during folie_

“I’m not.” He whimpers. He’s not being controlling. He’s changed. He’s learned his lesson.

_i have a feeling that this record will end up like folie_

_fob’s gonna break up after this album, guys. stop getting your hopes up_

They won’t. The band won’t break up. Why won’t everyone stop spreading rumors? Why won’t they stop spreading lies? Why won’t they stop spreading _hate?_

On the other side of the room, his phone vibrates, the ringtone piercing through the silence. He lifts his head up, shoulders trembling with suppressed sobs and hiccups, and stares at his phone, the screen flashing in the dark until it becomes silent.

From the customized ringtone, he knows it’s Brendon calling him, but he can’t bring himself to move and answer the call and say _“I’msorrypleasehelpmeIdon’twanttobealone.”_ It’s like every time he wants to call Brendon, he’s always reminded of how their last conversation went. How stupid he was being. How he pushed Brendon away  _again_ when he promised himself he wouldn’t.

_“Patrick, you shut down! How is that not a big deal?!”_

_“I just want to help!”_

How stupid could he be to reject Brendon’s help?

But he can’t. God, he can’t. _He can’t._

_He can’t pull Brendon into his mess._

If Brendon finds out, he’s going to leave. He doesn’t want Brendon to leave.

He doesn’t want Brendon to leave.

He doesn’t want Brendon to leave.

_He doesn’t want Brendon to leave._

“Please come home.” He curls himself into a ball on the floor, shaking with sobs and fingers tugging at his own hair. “Please come home soon.”

_“And if your head gets too loud, I’ll keep talking until it’s quiet again.”_

But Brendon’s voice in his head only plays one word, in one tone that has him shaken to the core and chilled to the bones. It’s what he said on their last phone call together.

It’s his name in the most disappointing tone he’s ever heard from him.

_“Patrick.”_

Brendon’s disappointed in him.

 _Brendon_ is _disappointed_ in _him,_ because that’s what he is.

_A disappointment._

To his friends. To his fans. To Brendon.

To everyone.

_Once a failure, always a failure._

“I’m not.” He grits his teeth and stifles down his hiccuping sobs. He’s _not_ a failure. They were nominated for Grammy’s. They’ve won and been nominated for many awards. Their albums and singles top many charts. They didn’t fail. They’re not failures. _He’s not a failure._

_“Play Fall Out Boy!”_

_“We don’t want your solos! We want Fall Out Boy!”_

_“He should just stick to standing behind Pete, or anyone, really.”_

_“Go back to being fat!”_

He needs Brendon’s voice. He needs to shut down his mind before it explodes. He needs everything to be a complete silence. _He needs Brendon._

He scrambles over to where his phone lies on the floor from being thrown earlier and picks it up, hands shaking as he unlocks the screen. His thumb is trembling as he navigates through the screen, his breathing short and fast, occasionally interrupted with hiccups.

When he gets on the bed, he lies curled on Brendon’s side and pulls the sheet up above his head, shielding himself from the outside world. Instead of going to his call log to call Brendon, he opens the music player and plays Panic’s songs on shuffle, allowing Brendon’s voice to quiet down the ones in his head to a faint buzz until he falls asleep with trails of tears sticking on his face.

_“...there’s no sunshine, there’s no you and me…”_

**Author's Note:**

> can the fandom stop giving them shit, please? thank you :)


End file.
